I used to keep problems to myself. I never want to ask for help. This is because I feel that if I ask for help, it will reflect badly on my capability to deal with personal problems. In other words, I was too proud to ask for help.
For example, if all my peers know how to swim very well and I have difficulty learning to swim, I will be too proud to ask them to share and teach me how to swim well. I am afraid that they will laugh at my inability to swim.
Another reason that I never want to ask for help is that I do not feel secure sharing my personal problems with people. I feel that if I share my personal problems with people, they think that I am a problematic person.
For example, I do not dare to share with people that I worry a lot. I feel that if I shared with people about my anxieties and worries, people will look at me strange eyes because I am different from them. And they may outcast me.
But after sharing with people, I find that actually all people suffer from anxieties and worries at one time or other. It is normal for everyone. And they are able to offer suggestions on how to deal with anxieties and worries because they have been through it before.
Imagine if I keep these problems to myself, I may end up depressed because I feel that I am helpless in solving my problems. This vicious cycle may cause further damage in my life.
For example, if I did not share with people that I worry a lot, then I will keep thinking that I am the weird one with such a problem. Due to lack of experience in dealing with worries, I am unable to manage them well. My worries will make me feel insecure and depressed that I am not able to function properly as a normal human being. I may resort to getting drunk or taking drugs to escape from this painful feeling. In short, more damage will be done.
It is normal for people to have problems too big for them to solve alone. It is normal for such people to ask for help. Talk to people around you, especially old people. You will find that they have asked other people for help at some points of their lives.
What I am trying to highlight is that any problems that you have encountered is nothing new. History of human civilization is already so long. This means that there is definitely someone else that has encountered the same problems as you. This implies that there are ready solutions to your problems. All you have to do is to change your mindset and ask for help!
Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need help.
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About the Author: Max Ng helps people who desire success to learn from his mistakes and realizations by sharing his personal struggle for success. He is the author of “Your Greatest Gift! Why Waste It?”
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Thank you very much for this post. Your words echo mine. When people have lack of self-esteem, or do not have trust in themselves, they are afraid to share their problems with other. Keeping them in isolation, cannot help. Working together, we can help to each other.
Great post,
Love&light
Tatjana-Mihaela